This week I’ve been in Orlando attending Dell Storage Forum. As part of the conference, there was a closing party at EPCOT and I found some time to break away from the hustle and bustle for some quiet reflection. Being at EPCOT in many ways brought my journey over the last nine years full circle. I’ve also been reflecting on a conversation I had with a colleague recently in which he asked me why I work so hard?
For those who may not know, my professional journey has been somewhat…atypical. I’ve not only held different jobs, I’ve had several distinct careers. In early 2002 I was in the 5th year of a successful stint as a high school and middle school band director. Then a funny thing happened. I got tickets to see Blast with my family in February. While watching the show, I found myself thinking that the professional touring life would probably be pretty cool. On our way out of the theater, I asked one of the cast members (more as a funny aside than a serious inquiry) if the show was hiring. Rather than dismissing me, he pointed me to the show’s website where there were details about the show’s casting needs.
I sat on that information for a while and debated with myself whether I should apply at all. I’ve always been an adequate trumpet player and maybe even a good one, but did I have what it took to hang with the pros? I had no real marching experience and wasn’t sure I had the look they were looking for. I had all but talked myself out of taping the audition when in a rare moment of clarity I thought that I would regret not having tried much more than I would being told that I wasn’t ready for primetime. In March, I recorded and submitted a 30 minute video thinking that I could at least say I had tried.
I will always remember where I was when my phone rang with the news that I was being offered a position with a new show that the producers were creating (it was on Exit 165 South from I-39 in Stevens Point, Wisconsin as I was heading to a dress rehearsal for a symphony performance). Thankfully I had invested in that bag phone for my car (oh yea, it was a real statement in ’02!). After nearly driving into the ditch, it struck me. My life was about to change in a big way and it was going to take a lot of work (even on that initial call, my earlier concerns were validated… I’d need to lose a bunch of weight and since all of the choreography was dance-based it would even harder than I anticipated). I don’t believe that I accepted the offer on that call as I knew there were a lot of things I needed to think about and in the day that followed I did a lot of soul-searching. To be sure this was an awesome opportunity (come live your dream, tour the country, meet great people, it’ll be A-W-E-S-O-M-E) but I almost let the doubt demons get the best of me (you’re leaving a good job where you’re loved, who knows if this will work out…). Thankfully in another moment of clarity, I decided that an opportunity like this would never present itself again and I would forever regret not trying.
Fast forward to the summer of 2002. Rehearsals were in full swing and we were pushing up to 10-12 hours per day getting ready for the fall start to the US tour. Meanwhile, we were performing a shorter version of the show with different choreography at EPCOT. To put it mildly, it was the single most physically grueling thing I have ever done but it was so exciting to be a part of something like this show. The cast members were all committed to perfecting the product and were all-around great people to boot. Then one day in August, the choreographer asked me to stick around following morning rehearsal. What followed was another transformational moment in my life. I met with the entire creative team and was told with little room for interpretation that they weren’t sure I was going to make it. I hadn’t dropped enough weight, I wasn’t moving well enough and they were concerned I wasn’t going to be able to perform at the level required. At that moment, Mike Tyson could have walked in off the street and punched me in the stomach and it would have been less painful. I had already given so much physically and emotionally not to mention putting my career on hold that I hadn’t even contemplated failure.
It’s in moments like this that I think we grow to know ourselves. That evening, I sat alone on the balcony of our apartment and pondered my options. Should I call it quits and try to get my teaching gig back? Should I press on? I called my parents who have always been my sounding board and told them everything. Thankfully all they said was “do what you feel is right and we will support whatever decision you make”. After that call, it hit me. I had made a commitment to the show, to my students back home who supported me, to my family and friends, and most importantly to myself. If I gave anything less than 100%, I would fail them all. The next morning I arrived early to work on choreo, I stayed through lunch and I worked late when I needed more time. I cleaned up my eating and did more in the gym when not in rehearsal. In short, I pushed myself harder than I thought possible. I knew that if it ended up not working out, I wanted to leave with my head held high knowing I gave it everything I had.
That chapter of the story had a happy ending. Not only did I earn the right to perform in the touring show, I never missed a performance due to injury. I got to see many wonderful theaters and share experiences with some very wonderful people. As fate would have it, when the original schedule wrapped up and the show went to London and then I found myself out of work but the lessons I learned in that summer will last a lifetime. Living those lessons has opened up doors for me that I would not have dreamed possible even a few short years ago.
So, what does that mean really?
I would offer the following to anyone willing to listen:
Life is full of challenges. How you approach and work through them helps shape and define you as a person.
Opportunity knocks, but often only one time. Open the door when it does.
Everyone can be great and accomplish great things but it takes a lot of hard work to do it.
Don’t be afraid to give all that you have to succeed and don’t be afraid to fail if that’s not enough. What you learn about yourself along the way has value beyond measure.
Thanks for indulging me. The picture below is the stage door at the American Adventure pavilion at EPCOT, which I walked through many times on this journey. When opportunity knocks, will you open the door?
Dan Marbes 